One letter changes everything

The difference between "married" and "marred" is the letter "i." The word marred means to damage, spoil, disfigure, or scar. The word married evokes images of love, happiness, pleasure and family. One little "i" makes a tremendous difference

In every relationship, especially in marriage, the "i" you bring can be the difference between thriving and spoilage. Romans 12:18 says, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." In this verse, Paul is appealing to the church's men and women to live peacefully with each other. Hard to believe, but even in the first-century the church had people who did not get along with each other. Romans 12:18 highlights some priorities for our modern relationships.

One revealed priority is all relationships, particularly marriage, has a purpose. Healthy relationships are more than just being with someone. Being with the wrong someone is worse than begin with no-one.

The word for "peace" is, in the original language of the Bible, a present active verb that describes the acts of continuously acting to cultivate peace and harmony. This word tells us that the purpose for all relationships, marriage included, is to foster the good and well-being of all involved. God has a purpose in and for all relationships.

A second priority is knowing great relationships do not happen by accident. Every relationship takes effort. The more important the relationship is, the more work it will take.

You have to own your efforts to build a flourishing relationship. Husband to wife, parents to children, grandparents to grandchildren, and yes, sons-in-law to mothers-in-law. Everything that matters takes effort. Thus Paul says, "Do all you can."

Being responsible for your healthy contributions to all of your relationships does not negate the priority of establishing and maintaining healthy personal boundaries. You cannot live peaceably with someone who manipulates, abuses, or has abandoned you. Both of you need to come to the table. But you can only be responsibility for your "i."

"I" makes a big difference. What I bring, what I do, how I say, what I mean matters. One little letter changes everything.